More Perfect

wherein i attempt to do all the things that women are supposed to do and generally make myself miserable in the process

Friday, August 29, 2008

Because Everyone Needs A Friendly Face on the Passenger Side

Milo: "I want to drive the car."

Me: "You have to be bigger to drive the car. Your legs won't reach right now."

Milo: "When I'm bigger and I drive the car, will you sit next to me?"

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Monday, August 18, 2008

Potty Training, Day By Day

Day 1: Preparation

Go to store to buy "special big boy underwear." Milo uninterested until he discovers special big boy underwear comes with Thomas the Tank Engine on it. Then insists on putting on underwear immediately. Manage to convince him to pick out a pair to wear tomorrow, then wrangle him into a diaper for bed. read potty book multiple times. Totally overhype potty training. Go to sleep.



Day 2: D-Day

Wake up, show Milo how to put on Thomas underwear. Twenty minutes later, take off wet underwear, put on new dry underwear. Repeat. Start to understand just how many times a day a toddler can pee. Begin asking Milo every twenty minutes if he has to use the potty. Answer is always no. Once answer is "no" followed five minutes later by, "I peed a little, but that's okay." Wonder how bad it would be to let him train himself when he's fifteen.



Day 3: Breakthrough

Go on hike. Explain to Milo that the woods is like one big potty, and that he can pee anywhere. After some coaxing, Milo pees on a leaf. See light flick on in his eyes as he points out all the other things he wants to pee on. Listen to Milo now insist every ten minutes that he has to pee because he wants to mark every tree within a fifty mile radius. Point out casually that one can also pee in the backyard. Milo says: "I want to go home right now and pee in my backyard." That evening, go to concert on the waterfront. Smile in amazement as Milo, without prompting, says he needs to go to the bathroom. Find disgusting public bathroom. Washing Milo's hands with Borax after he touches the urinal. Let him pee in the big toilet. Hope this means we're getting close.

Day 10: Possible success
Special Thomas underwear kept dry for over a week. Too early to claim success, but not too shabby either. And so it goes.

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Truer Words Were Never Spoken

Milo, after running halfway down a mountain: "I'm exhausting. I'm totally exhausting."
Me: "Yes, you are."

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Wednesday, August 06, 2008

This Is Just To Say

I have driven
the Toyota
Highlander

which was built
for people to take
47 kids
to soccer practice

Forgive me
it was enormous
so airy
and so many cup holders

Addendum:
Not to fear
I am buying
a sportscar
instead

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Monday, August 04, 2008

Housekeeping at 33 Months

Hi Cutie:

Sunshine Boy

Don't have much to update on today, so we'll just have to make do with new pictures.

Love,
Mama

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